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The Procession to Calvary | game review

Monty Python and the Hilariously Bloodthirsty Holy Warrior


Game summary: Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. (Steam)

Being a fan of Monty Python and loving the animated sections from the shows and movies, The Procession to Calvary looked like it would be right up my street and so it turned out to be. I absolutely love the majority of my time with this game, and it's so funny that I genuinely laughed out loud more than once at some of the (unvoiced) dialogue. That said, there are some issues that may irk others and put them off.

First off, there are multiple endings to this game - each one of the three I found were all amusing in their own ways, but it's very easy to lock yourself into one ending and/or out of another by accident, as it's not signposted at all what actions will set you on a certain path. The silly humour defines the tone of this game, and you doing something funny and ludicrous might be enjoyable in the moment, but restrict how much further you can get into the game - just watch what you do with your sword!

The only other issue I have with The Procession to Calvary is that I don't feel that the problem-solving to progress remains consistent throughout. Roughly the first seventy-five to eighty percent of the game flows really well, with some excellent - and continually hilarious - writing skilfully pushing you in the right direction and giving you some indication of what you need to do to continue onwards.

It's towards the end of the game where this often stops being the case and there are some truly bizarre solutions to 'puzzles' - there are even a couple of time-based solutions that stand out due to there being no indication they're time-based, so it might take a while to figure out what you need to do if you try and solve them the same way you would every other obstacle in the game.

That said, those are the only issues I had with The Procession to Calvary. Fine, the animation isn't great, but it fits the Python-esque style of the game and there's even fourth wall-breaking around it too. The classical music choices are brilliant as a soundtrack and, for the most part, it's a very simple game to pick up and play, so pretty much anyone should be able to enjoy it too.

Unless you're someone who doesn't like Monty Python-style humour, in which case a lot of the jokes really won't work for you, even if I found the majority of the game to be incredibly funny. I'm also glad the game is quite short so it never even comes to out-staying its welcome or scraping the barrel for new material to poke fun at - it's also usually pretty cheap to if you feel like giving it a try, which I definitely recommend doing.

The Procession to Calvary is a short, but very funny and very silly game. It does have some oddities that may frustrate at first, but the writing is so damn good that you'll be laughing again before long. It's pretty simple to play too, so anyone can pick it up and enjoy it, although you might need a little help at the end when things get very weird.

[8/10 - Very Good]



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